it was all a dream..

NOTORIOUS B.I.G. LYRICS edited by me

"Juicy"

[Intro:]

*&^% All you haters. (get a grip __________)

Yeah, this song is dedicated to all the people who are three times my age and are less mature then my little cousins. This song is dedicated to all the teachers that told me I would never amount to nothing, and all my friends that have dropped off the face of the earth.

Uh-ha, it's all good baby bay-bee, uh

[Verse One:]

It was all a dream
I remember reading mad magazine
Underneath the covers at midnight till my mom would scream
Scar face poster on my wall
Every weekend mom and I would go shopping at the mall
I used to wear 2 polo’s with both collars popped
While my friends smoked cigarettes behind the McDonalds spot
Way back, when thought that I was black and I rocked the throwbacks
With the hat to match
This beef that’s going on now its hard its hard
I really never thought it would go this far
Now I'm in the limelight 'cause I made some blog posts
Time to move on, cause when your gone, your gone
Trying to get buy, but mom raised me a winner
So every night, it’s a different family’s house for dinner
Peace to mad and cam, Jordan, and molly
Nicole, Jordan, Aaron, Zach, Lindsey and Charlie
I’m doing better then you thought I would
Call my house, same number same hood
It's all good

Uh, and if you don't know, now you know, ________, uh

[Chorus:]

You know very well who you are
Don't let em hold you down, reach for the stars
You had a goal, but not that many
'cause you're the only one I'll give you good and plenty

[Verse Two:]

I knew good things don’t last
But I had to grow up so fast
And I got class, diesel and polo all day,
Spread love, it's the B-more way
The coffee and red bull keeps my busy
Girls used to diss me
Now they call my cell all day trying to get me
I never thought it could happen, this cancer stuff
Those three years were more then tough
But I didn’t die, im stronger like kanye
And everyone cares way to much about what I say
This blog is a sore spot, no need to speak
Ignoring the situation is acting pretty weak
But I spoil those who are here
Puttin' 5 karats in all my girl cousins ears
Lunches, playing basketball, too
It was a miracle that I went back to high school
Stereotypes of a bug bite misunderstood
And it's still all good

Uh...and if you don't know, now you know_____________

[Verse Three:]

tag huer caliber s, breitling steel fish
I would trade um both for my mom back quick
32 in flat screen, glass case of sneakers
Got a nice car, touch nav, Bose speakers
My first nice watch about two G's flat
No need to worry, I paid cash
And my whole crew is loungin'
Celebrating' every day, that there friend is around n’
Thinking' back like is this a dream
You bought who? A pair a seven jeans?
And I love to write these songs of course
Sure sometimes people get upset, I feel no remorse
We are still family, no matter what happens
And words don’t speak as loud as actions
You don’t even call on my birthday
And the month of may is the worst days
Uh, damn right I like the life I live
And ill turn negative to positive
And it's all...

(It's all good)

not that bad

Well, passover went well I must say. It may seem to the average reader or outsider that I am bitter and angry about my family and I just want to live alone and be a hermit, but anyone who REALLY knows me well, knows that family is one of the most important things to me. You take things for granted when you have them. fathers, mothers, little brothers and sisters, pests and annoyences to those who deal with these aspects every day, but for me, these things are what keeps my head up.

All of my aunts and uncles and cousins are like my mothers and fathers. They still tell me what I should do, they still feed me and take care of me when Im sick, and they are for the most part there for me when I need it. And my cousins are like the siblings I never had. I have fun playing basketball and even polly pockets, because I never had that before, and its a feeling that makes me feel needed. Novelty's? a novelty is something that ALWAYS entertains you. they annoy me constantly, all of them, but if they didn't i wouldnt be getting the full sibling expierience.

Of course, I was missing some family members last night, but w/e. I called them and wished them a happy passover anyway. Any they never called me back, so to me that sounds hypocritical doesnt it? But this enrty isnt that type of bashing that you might be looking for, so sorry to dissapoint you _______ but im not giving you any more fuel to the fire. now its on you, and im done.

so ahppy passover to you and yours... and im out like flash pants

on a lighter note

i just wanted to let everyone know tony is doing fine, he cost quite a bunch of money, but he's alieve and licking his er... legs again. :). actaully his two front little paws are shaved in the middle, and so he looks like a little french poodle. hes so cute.

It's time to grow up.

.

Have you ever heard that song, I think its buy the temptations, that goes, "your so vain,you probably think this song is about you, dont you. Sometimes people think about themselves so much because they are vain or selfish, that they really believe in there hearts that everyone is alwasy talking about them. Retorically speaking, If i wanted to intententionally talk about someone to hurt them, I would do it to there face, not behind there back in some silly little blog. Even as your raeding this now, your probablly asuming that Im talking about you. I could be, or I could be talking about how I feel towards my buddy aaron, who after my mother passed, just completely removed me from his exsistance.

He didn't even come to the funeral.

But some people dont take anything like that into considerartion. They only think I sit around all day talking about them. Plotting on the next maliscious blog post or nasty song I want the world to here next. But the truth is, I am hurt, and I am angry, but I still really care about you. If i hated you, I wouldnt even take the effort to write the damn entrys in the first place. I dont think you really deserve an aoplogy, since in all fairness, YOU found the blog, YOU chose to read it, AND you never called me to talk about it. I NEVER sent it to you, and I NEVER intentionally tried to make you read it. YOU decided one day that it would be nice to spy on me and read things about you, and of course you would get offended. But grown up.

People talk shit about me all the time. always. as far back as kindergarten. and you know what I did about it? nothing. who fucking cares. I DONT sit around my house all day searching people on the internet to see if they are talking about me. If I wanted to know how somone was doing, I would grow some nuts, pick up a fucking phone, and give them a call. MYSELF, not my slave. not stalk them online. but hey, thats just me.

You probably stopped reading right there. But there's more you should consider. It is too late to turn back now. human beings and this goes for everybody, never really understand what they have untill its gone forever. I know I sometimes took my mother for granted, never thinking she would die before she could hold her granddaughter or grandson in her arms. But its to late to mend anything i had with her. Luckily she died knowing that she loved me, and any petty differences we had were forgiven. And since we had a small family, I'M ALL THATS LEFT. If you cut me out, you cut out all ties of exsistance of my mother all together. For your own sake, dont do that.

Here's my fake half- assed apology I dont need to give anyone. Im sorry If you were hurt by the actual, factual, true things mentiond in my blog. I do apologize that you have too much time on your hands and you would rather stalk this blog then call me to iron things out. And let me make a few things crystal clear so there is no need for any confusion.

1. I NEVER check my email. but I do have a phone. In fact, I have two. between cell phone and hose phone, I pay over 100 bucks a month, so make my money work and call me if you have something to say. I promise If im home or i hear the phone I will pick it up. I am not ignoring you I swear.

2. Nobody, not an aunt, not a cousin, not my mother, no body ever made me feel a certain way about any certain person. I f i was pissed at you which I admit that I am, Its 100% because of things that I see WITH MY OWN EYE BALLS. i am that savy to notice when people do things. I see when people act cheap, or when people act selfish. I dont need an aunt to tell me that.

3. And last but not least, and I hope you made it this far, i do love you. Not in the same way as I did, but I still love all of you and care about you. You mean enough to me that I would still care to write this. true, its not the same love i used to feel. but thats your own doing. It can be earned back, some people have lost my trust though. those people will NEVER get that back. Whoever ratted me out, and you know who you are... you will NEVER get my trust, and since i cant be sure who you are, I trust very few people. But the important thing is I do love you, and If you apoloigized, I probably would forgive you if you meant it. I would probably piss my pants too, but hey miricles do happen.

which is a fiiting ending. on passover mosses parted the ocean. It would mean the world to me if we could all part the oceans in our hearts and come together at ONE FUCKING HOUSE for passover. my mom is looking down from heaven thinking, look at my meshugina family. u know she would have wanted better. Ill be waiting by the phone if you didnt forget my number.

Tony armstrong

this is a bengal cat. I have a bengal cat named tony. not after tony the tiger as some may think, but after tony montana from scarface. he has kidney stones and i rushed him to the emergancy room. now I am sad and worried for the health of my feline. please pray that he recovers ( amd that the the medical bill doesnt exceed 1200 dollars)

Passed. Over

So passover is coming up, and for those of you who dont know, Im jewish, and so this passover will be like no other. mostly beacause my grandmother and aunt arnt attending. I would have assumed it was because of aunt jackie having it at the house where my mother passed away, but in reality i believe it has to do with me. bAsically its because they are angry at me. So aunt linda is having passover at her house, with grandma, and they didnt even invite me and the only reason i even know there having it uis becasue aunt jackie told me.

So basically, the drama is still there. I am fully aware that people obviously read these posts, even if they dont say anything, so i have to censor my self to an extent, but i will say that its fucked up, and I am hurt. and I feel as though its my grandmothers responisbillity to pick up a god damn phone and call me. her only fucking link to her youngest daughter. and if she feels guilty, well, ... u know.